I have to admit that although I’m not currently in one, I’m totally interested in the psychology, the behind-the-scenes, of relationships. For whatever reason, YouTube has started suggesting relationship advice videos to me (I don’t know if that’s a sign or just a coincidence…) And do you know what one of the most popular topics is? How to tell if someone likes you…

barney-likes-you
[Gif Courtesy of WP]
Apparently we’ve become a culture where it’s a big secret when someone likes you. You can’t just have a conversation, no no! You need science and some interesting things to look for to tell if someone likes you. So let’s discuss…

So firstly, what were some of the biggest things I found in my research?
  • Proximity
    Okay, so I’m gonna use “he” just because that flows more naturally than trying to he/she it.
    Apparently if a guy likes you, he will do what he can to get close to you. He will sit near you, stand near you, do anything near you. Proximity is apparently important. Hopefully proximity includes mindfulness of personal space, but whatevs.
  • Eye Contact/Staring
    Okay, so there’s a few things there. If a guy continually stares at you but then looks away when you notice, that’s apparently a sign he’s interested. If he makes eye contact, he’s interested. And if, when he’s looking at you, his pupils dilate (i.e. those big Disney eyes), then he is liking what he’s seeing. Yes, because I’m going to stare a guy down after he’s been staring me down to check out the size of his pupils. That’s totally not creepy…
  • Touch
    This sounds like it could go really wrong, but apparently it’s a good thing. If a guy touches you (not gets handsy or criminal-esque) but puts his hand on your back or touches your arm or something small, then he likes you.
  • Smiling
    I can’t decide if this was surprising or not, but smiling was one of those signs that kept coming back. So I don’t know if people don’t smile often enough, or if they meant more of the type of smile, but if he smiles genuinely at you, it’s because he likes you. Or he may just be a pleasant, optimistic, happy kind of guy…
What’s wrong with these?

Okay, there’s all kinds of wrong but for different reasons.

If you have to look for signs that someone likes you, do you really think they like you? The fact that we have to look to science to decode someone’s behavior seems a bit over the top. The only reason I’ve brought this up is because it is such a prevalent question on the inter webs here. Clearly people are confused and are looking to others to help them clarify. But do you really need clarification? Can’t you just tell when someone likes you? Or are you looking for signs to try and prove something that isn’t there? Or to give yourself a boost in confidence in thinking that there are signs?

The second problem is are these signs complete? Is it possible that someone is just being kind? What if you misread the signs? Do you really want to spend time obsessing over looking for signs that someone likes you when it might not be right or fit your situation?

And the last problem is have we created a society that is so scared of rejection that we can’t just tell someone we like them? Have we become so heartless that we inspire fear of humiliation when approached? That’s a serious problem…

So what should do if you want to know if someone likes you?
how to tell if someone likes you
[Gif Courtesy of iFunny]
So what’s the best thing to do if you want to know if someone likes you? Talk to them. Be kind, be honest. If they reject you – do you really want to be with someone like that? And if they say they like you back, well you just saved yourself a boat-load of time and worry and are starting a relationship off on the right foot.

So you really want to know how someone likes you? If they tell you. And if they don’t, then don’t spend another minute worrying about and just get down to taking care of your business.

Here’s to a great start to the week! Have a good one everyone!

Much love,

Jen